Single Parent of a Special Needs Child
by Shelly C
My name is Shelly and I am a 40 y/o single parent of a Special Needs Child....
I have two other children that are "normal".
My children's father walked out on us about 4yrs ago because he couldn't deal with Karleys disability. He stated to friends that he didn't make "Retarded children"...
So, I have been taking care of my beautiful little family of girls on my own, with no help, of any kind including financial from their father. They haven't seen him in 4yrs. I love my girls so much and I can't even imagine living life without them..even though at times life is extremely hard...
I have no real outlets because none of my friends or family have disabled children and they don't understand. If anything,I think they pity me...
I keep strong and I say many prayers and talk to God a lot but, nobody not even God it seems to understand my trials and tribulations.
My Karley at 8 wks old started having seizures and was diagnosed with Tuberous Sclerosis, Epilepsy and Autism and Retard-ism<---I really hate that word...
Anyway Karley's epilepsy is uncontrollable and she is on many meds. She doesn't walk and she is non verbal and can not feed herself only with a bottle or when I spoon feed her.
She is my Angel and I love her with all my heart and soul.. Looking at her little face makes me so happy and when she smiles, I forget about the world and all the chaos..
She is truly a blessing and a gift and I know gave her to me to love and protect and I will do that with all my heart soul and life...
My other two girls are awesome in their own right. They are such loving , good girls and they help me out so much and I know they give up a lot due to Karleys disability but, not once have I ever heard them complain..
They love her so much and always talk about her to friends and teachers..
I just need to vent and cry because I feel so alone...
If I cry and talk to friends and family they tell me not to cry and everything will be okay, when sometimes everything will not be okay..
I just had to share because my heart is full of love for my girls but, lonely at the same times..
God Bless! Oh and my girls ages are 14,11 and 6 y/o
------ Editor's Note:
Thank you so much for sharing what you are feeling. Please know that you are not alone. There are very many of us scattered about, and we are all doing the best we can.
It is not at all unusual for couples to split because one parent cannot deal with the stress and reality of having a special needs child.
You deserve great praise for your strength in all you do, and in keeping such a positive attitude even though you are dealing with so much.
The best I can suggest is to look into any community supports you may have for respite. If a trained caregiver can get in to give you a regular break and allow you to pursue your own interests, it will help a lot.
Here are some more ideas to relieve caregiver stress:
Hope that helps!
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