Need HELP!! Autism ~ Downs Syndrome ~ Non Verbal ~ Violent

My Best Friend has 4 children. Her first pregnancy resulted in twins. One healthy normal son and one son with Downs Syndrome. As the Downs Syndrome son grew I noticed his behavior was not normal. My Best friend must have been in denial or maybe busy with life as she had two more children right away. He had stunted growth, he was always sick or had ear infections. He did not walk for years. He is 16 years old now and has never spoken... not one word. He does not chew food so she has to make sure everything is mashed. He is not potty trained. She will sit with him for HOURS on the toilet. He will pee but he will hold his BM until she dresses him then when she is not looking he will poop in his pants and put his hand in it and throw it or smear it EVERYWHERE. He has also become violent. He was kick out of a Special Needs "school" (more like day care) because he was too much for them to handle. He has attacked her other children, her mother, her sister, strangers and on occasion he has attacked her but not often. He seems to be in his "own little world" with no interaction with anyone. He breaks everything (12 windows, 3 Big Screen TVs, toys, anything he can). He bangs his toys so hard on the floor it dents the batteries inside the toys. She buys him new toys everyday (not even kidding). She and her husband have a great business and make quite a bit of money so that has made it easier for her to deal with (buy new toys, school, ect) but I think she should find a solution instead of dumping money down a black hole that will only get worse as he gets older. She just does not know how to get the help for him he needs. She does not want to medicate him but at this point I dont see it hurting anything (and I'm totally against drugging children). She has taken him to one Autism Center to evaluate him but it was a total joke. They "watched" him for a couple hours each day for a week or two. Told her to "ignore" his behavior. How can you ignore him beating someone or smearing poop everywhere? She does ignore it and I think it is making things worse. But I am not in her shoes ~ but I can see from the outside looking in and it is horrible for her and her entire family including her special needs son. Her marriage is broken, her children do not get attention they need and she is cracking about to shatter. I want to help her more than anything. I love her more than my own family. I have watched him while she and her husband take their other children on vacation. But honestly I HATE IT. It is sooo horrible. He attacks me leaving deep scratches and bruises. I have to clean shit at least three times a day and of course at night when he strips his bedding and pees and poops all over his mattress (she had a zipper mattress cover that he ripped up). She allows him to sleep between her and her husband so she doesn't have to clean up in the morning. He is as strong as an ox at 16... what is going to happen when he is 20 or 30!! She needs help and I want to get it for her..... WHERE do I start looking?? I honestly think a home is her only option for a "normal" life (not that it will ever be "normal" but hopefully you understand). I know he is not the only one like this.... PLEASE HELP!!!

Comments for Need HELP!! Autism ~ Downs Syndrome ~ Non Verbal ~ Violent

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a solution for poop smearing
by: Anna

You deserve a lot of credit for trying to help your best friend. I'm sure that she appreciates it more than you can know.

There are a LOT of issues to deal with, but there is one that I do know of a solution for..

Another parent of a child that would poop in their clothing and occasionally smear invented an outfit that does a great job of restricting that behaviour, by making it extremely difficult to remove the clothing, or to even access the diaper contents.

You can find it here:
https://www.thespeciallife.com/anti-poop-smearing-clothing

Your also mentioned bed sheets being an issue. The same company, my affiliate partner, has waterproof bedsheets, sofa and wheelchair covers.

You can find those here:
https://www.thespeciallife.com/anti-poop-smearing-covers

Hope this helps!

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
a solution for poop smearing
by: Anna

You deserve a lot of credit for trying to help your best friend. I'm sure that she appreciates it more than you can know.

There are a LOT of issues to deal with, but there is one that I do know of a solution for..

Another parent of a child that would poop in their clothing and occasionally smear invented an outfit that does a great job of restricting that behaviour, by making it extremely difficult to remove the clothing, or to even access the diaper contents.

You can find it here:
https://www.thespeciallife.com/anti-poop-smearing-clothing

Your also mentioned bed sheets being an issue. The same company, my affiliate partner, has waterproof bedsheets, sofa and wheelchair covers.

Hope this helps!

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