I Have High Functioning Autism

by Anonymous

I'm a High Functioning Autism student in my second year doing a BA Music Journalism. I'm also a songwriter/composer signed to Triumph Music Publishing.

I'm quite disturbed at how Autism is misunderstood by so many people. But, reading about Autism and Violence has propelled me into a writing frenzy. Please read my story...

I'm a 24 year old male, I'm not hairy or fat, I'm not a druggie, or an alcoholic, I don't go to clubs, and get hammered, and I'm not suicidal. I haven't murdered, raped, stabbed, been racist, or hit anyone.

Maybe thats what everyone was expecting as I have Autism?

I've made a promise to myself to help others without Autism, realise that just because I have High Functioning Autism doesn't mean I can't do what the rest of the world does. Live. Eat. Breath. Work. Play...

My Dad once said to me "If everyone in the world was like you the world would be a mess". This stuck with me over the last 24 years and has made me more determined to follow my dreams, and work hard to live a comfortable life.

While this message is positive, life hasn't and isn't smooth sailing for me. I've been under-section for four months in a Physc ward.

I felt ill just being in that environment. The food was awful. The care was careless. The patients in the ward were so ill they freaked me out and the DR's only came to the rescue to discharge me because they thought I wasn't benefiting as I stayed in my room, door locked, and only came out for medication at 9pm for four months!

All of this, and I had to face going back to the busiest City in the UK, South London to finish my first year, they made me re-take due to hospitalisation. I was in hospital for psychosis and still don't understand what went on because two close family members died before going under-section...

However, when I was 5 I had heart surgery, and other operations. But I remained positive and trust worthy through out. It wasn't until I was a teenager that my anger started to become a concern and police got involved.

I however never aimed my anger in physical violence it was more at an object or a window. While these were dangerous moves for others around me and myself, it is not as extreme as some of the Autism and Violence stories on this website.

A lot of this rage happened due to knowing that I was going to lose my family, as my Aunts and Uncles were dying around me with a blink of an eye they were just gone. Some of them I had never even met but they were family.

Making sense of my past is never easy. To cope with my future, I try to stay as calm as possible. And treat others how they treat me. University kills me. But, its now like a drug and I'm not giving up on it.

I just wanted to let readers know that Autism doesn't always equal violence. And Autism isn't always related to suicidal actions or thoughts or feelings...as I've never experienced it I just get into bad sleeping patterns and depression.

As a person with High Functioning Autism, I think places like Hospital Wards, and Mental Clinics are the worst places to go for help... it should be personalised and that individual should be recognised for who they are on the inside not just because of their Autism.

But, if anyone with Autism is being Violent...then thats when action should be taken.


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