I don't throw pity-parties and I force myself to go to work so "it can't be that bad".

by Lucy

I'm currently in my 20s and was born with skeletal defects involving my hips, legs and feet. I've had numerous surgeries to correct and preserve the joints but things have progressed to the point where I'm in constant pain and have trouble doing the simplest of tasks. Oh, the things I used to take for granted...

Anyways, I am a positive person and I want to be 'normal' so I try not to complain or wallow in self-pity and I force myself to go to work. I must take a daily regiment of prescription anti-inflammatories and painkillers just to function on a basic level.

In order to keep sane, now here's where my rant comes in:

1) my insurance company gives me flack about my medication being 'too expensive' and asks if I can find a cheaper drug. Believe me, it took a lot of trial and error to find a combination that semi-works so I'm not about to give this up. Obviously, they don't know what real chronic pain is.

2) people get on my case for not visiting enough anymore and why can't I come see them. Dudes, I'M CRIPPLED. I hurt all the time. My meds make me sick and drowsy. I don't travel well these days. If it's a big deal, feel free to come visit at my house.

3)because I work 'it can't be that bad'. Well guess what? It is. Sure, I can drug up and make it through an 8 hour day but what you don't see is the discomfort I'm in AFTER working those 8 hours.

4)it's months and months to be able to get to see a doctor about my condition. So what happens in the meantime? Oh here, take all these nasty drugs that your insurance doesn't want to cover and be miserable. I'm sure it's not that bad.

5)"My mother/father/uncle/random old person had hip surgery and they were all better in a few months so how come you're not better yet?" Well,I must be faking it then right? It seems every second person is an orthopedic specialist just dying to give you their opinion.

6) my able-bodied, unemployed, welfare-sponging sibling has all his medical expenses covered, can see a doctor whenever he wants and gets paid to stay home but I keep getting roadblock after roadblock thrown in my face when I actually go to work, pay taxes, and try to be a productive member of society.

7)"you look fine to me". Oh wow! You have X-ray vision! Cool!

Ugh! Sorry about the pessimistic rant but boy do I feel better now! :)

Comments for I don't throw pity-parties and I force myself to go to work so "it can't be that bad".

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Couldn't Agree More
by: Kim

It does seem like the disability system and people don'y want people with disabilities to try to overcome them. Whenever you are trying to do so, they than assume that it is "not that bad" or that you are faking. It really pisses me off to. I wish people could remember a few things like

1. Just because I am doing better today does not mean I am not disabled.
2. If I am not whining about how much it hurts it doesn't mean it does not hurt still.
3. Making me constantly have to repeat what my disability is and how it affects my life is very depressing especially when I need public assistance programs and the only way I can get assistance is by repeating to you all the things I cannot do and how much impact it has on my life.
4. I am disabled, it is difficult for me to gather endless trails of medical records and to constantly document my disability. People who can provide perfect documentation probably aren't disabled! When I am suffering pain or an attack, I'm really not thinking about taking notes and keeping documents because I really don't feel good!
5. When you pretend my disability doesn't exist, it makes it harder for me to get the help I do need. When you make fun of my disability it hurts. I'm sure there is a special place in god's plan for people like you.

I have brain lesions and my head hurts alot and I often have difficulty walking sometimes ect... I am still being diagonosed and have intermittant symptoms, I love those people who have Xray vision to, must be awesome. My favorites are the ones who say "You look fine, there is nothing wrong with you." Wow, I'll bet my Dr.s wished they could diagnose my symptoms as easily as the obviously uneducated and unmannered ass that makes that assumption does.

Totally understand where you are coming from Lucy.

To kim:
by: Lucy

Hi Kim,
people never cease to amaze me with their insensitivity and stupidity! My friends and I joke that I need the scarlet letter 'C' sewn on my clothes because some people act like cripples are third-class citizens, haha.

Hang in there and I hope you get the help you need :)

by: Anonymous

I have to say i really admire and respect you. What a huge effort you are making, and I very much encourage you to enjoy and be proud of yourself. you should be!
And all that with no encouragment from family.
I hope that somehow you end up with positive nuturing friends in your life, and know that you do deserve them.
look at all the efforts you make! amazing.

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