I was engaged to a man with twin autistic sons, who were 16-18 during the time I was with him. (NOTE: the breaking of the engagement had NOTHING to do with the boys.)
Saying "no", even if it was an agreed-upon consequence for behaviors, too often resulted in violence. I was kicked in the face, punched, chased with a knife, one of the boys broke a window with a chair. Meds helped some; not enough.
They're still at home, at 22. I heard that one of them punched a caretaker yesterday, and the police were called (which I consider a good move).
It still wrenches my heart; I love those boys and think of them every day (it's been 3 years since I've seen them). We'd been on a fairly good path - schedules, limits, earning media time had all helped to a degree. We had started to experiment with weighted objects for the child who was most impaired and most violent, which really made a difference.
I don't think that enough attention is paid to this "dark side", not at all. The consequences can be deadly.
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