Manage your stress

Just being a parent brings its own level of stress.

But, if you have a special need child, then it goes without saying that your entire family deals with additional stress in your daily life.

Everything is just a little bit more difficult. And what often goes unnoticed is that difficulties aren’t just experienced by the child with the disability, but by everyone in the household.

But caregivers need support too. We know that just getting through the day is usually exhausting. After a few years of constant extra effort, you’re likely to find yourself totally exhausted, not just physically, but also emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

You’re not alone!

One of the hardest things to come to terms with is the realization that it isn’t a temporary situation that you’re dealing with. Most of us are able to draw on extra reserves of strength to deal with calamities in our lives. And somehow, we manage to get through it.

But, when the situation is ongoing, we need to consider an ongoing support process to be able to replenish our reserves, so that we’re able to deal with all of the additional tasks and stresses placed upon us.

Stress management is something that the whole family needs to be aware of. Parents are especially in need of stress management, since they set the tone for the whole family.

Respite

Tip: Look for the term “respite” or “support for caregivers” in your community. You may find organizations in your local area that are set up specifically to help families with disabilities. In our city, there is an independent organization set up that will provide a trained person to stay with our special need son so that we can have some time away with each other or with our other child. Remember to look for funding for respite or caregiver relief that may be provided by government or local non-profit agencies.

Taking time away on a regular basis can do a lot to support your mental health as well as to support relationships with other family members and friends. For many of us, it may be the only way to maintain our social network. Remember that a strong social network is one of the best supports you can provide your special needs child.

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There are a number of things that you can do at home too. One of the easiest methods is to learn stress reducing breathing exercises. This simple process can have an immediate effect on your stress level in as little as 7 breaths! In its simplest form, simply take the time to close your eyes and take long, deep breaths, where you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try it. It works.

Another extremely simple exercise to reduce stress is to stretch. Yup, just stretching out your limbs can make a big difference. Like a lot of people, I find that I hold a lot of tension in my neck. So, simply bending my head forward and rolling my head from side to side is a great way to stretch out all of those muscles. Oddly, while I rarely notice the tension beforehand, as soon as I do my roll and stretch routine I discover that most of the muscles in my neck and head are very tight. The stretch really helps.

Another fantastic way to relieve stress is to talk to other families with special need kids. You'll likely find that even being able to speak openly with someone who "gets it" will be a big help. Look for parent groups in your area, most likely linked to a treatment centre or special needs school.

You can also find resources on the web that deal with a particular disability and has great resources that may also help you. This is one of my favourites. Although we don't have to worry about autism in our household, I still find that there are great resources for dealing with cerebral palsy as well. Chances are you'll find something of use as well.


Do you have a favourite method for reducing stress that you’d like to share with other families in the same situation? Just contact us. We’d love to hear from you.

We’ll be adding more ways to relieve stress regularly, so check back often!