Honesty in talking about autism and violence

by Lulu
(Illinois)

I really appreciate your honesty in dealing with this side of autism. I am so tired of people saying that it is mystical and mysterious.


Since Sandy Hook a boy in New Mexico killed his family, because he was mad at his mother. If you look at his picture he has the large head and protruding ears of an autistic person.

A man in Vernon Hills, Illinois just killed his wife because she was bothering him, then went to work. no remorse mentioned.

What about the Aurora, CO shooter, he was gifted and was a son of computer engineer.

I was married for a few years to a man, who I now realize, has Aspergers. His son, my stepson, has autism. He looks exactly like the N.M. boy.

Unfortunately, I had to be the one who taught him to use the toilet, dress, eat, etc. and he decided that he didn't like any of that so he doesn't like me.

I got myself and my older son out of that situation when my husband took a swing at me 2 times and he almost abused my son 2 times.

My concern is that my second son has to be with those two for half of the week as part of our divorce.

He has told me that his half-brother has blockaded him in his room and pried open his eyes to make him watch a scary movie.

We need to address this phenomenon honestly. Will my second son who has an autistic father end up like this?

I pray, but I have one eye open. We have got to talk about this honestly. Why should 20 innocent children and so many others die? I don't want to hear that they do have emotions--yes they do, but they are not reasonable persons.

The law requires that we behave as reasonable persons.


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Editor's Note:

Thank you for your comments - I am hoping that they will provoke a lot of comments. :-)

I would caution against making a judgement of who has autism or not based on physical appearance alone. That is a very, very slippery slope and is not likely to be accepted as a definitive factor in diagnosis.

You've highlighted a lot of negative and scary behaviours, and I hope that none of your fears come to fruition.

This will definitely be an interesting topic to hash out though.

As you've seen elsewhere on this site, some families do worry about a connection between violence and autism and have their own experiences to base that on.

On the other hand, there are many causes for violence, and so it can't be assumed that someone who has violent tendencies has autism.

Nor can we assume that everyone with autism has a tendency towards violence. Is there a link for SOME people with autism? Maybe. Or maybe not.

As you said, honest discussion would help.

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