Difficult to be Out in Public

by Jamie
(Olympia, WA, USA)

My son has a variety of illnesses, brain and spine related. He also has something going on mentally, we don't know what as of yet.

The doctors say they don't want to diagnose him so young, but we need something. Yesterday we were at our state capitol which was a fun event for my other three children. My son with special needs at one point broke down at first he just was trying to hit someone. So I chose to walk away from the group tour. Only this made it worse.

He started yelling, then as we kept walking he started crying, screaming, and slamming his head against his stroller. I tried to comfort him by talking to him and he grabbed a huge chunk of my hair and yanked. The whole handful of hair came out.

For some reason I didn't even feel the pain as I stared down at my hair in his hand. I walked by a group there was a professional photographer which was trying to get a realistic shot and we were trapped from moving further.

They looked at me as if I had lost it and like can't you control your son.

I don't know how to explain these situations, but just walked by with my head down.

Another time I took my son to church, I got a call he had hit another boy, the problem was he threw a truck it hit the boy in the ear and he had a pretty bad cut.

My well meaning friends told me I shouldn't tell the workers about my son's conditions this happens to others. Ok that might work with your normal child, but mine could have complete melt down and they need to know what could happen.

People just don't understand when I tell them or when they see my son.

The worst part is some doctors keep saying there is more wrong, but the ones who could help just blame it on his brain condition. It's a never ending cycle. It's so stressful when he behaves this way and it seems to be getting worse.

Comments for Difficult to be Out in Public

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Difficult to be out in public
by: Anu

Hi,
I am sorry to know about your child's behaviour issues. I too have a special needs daughter, who is now 23 yrs of age. I would like to share what has worked for us. Special needs child understands and learns differently. Occupational, speech language therapists and dieticians as well are of great help.
Instead of straller, personal touch works better.
Blood pressure might be checked if child hits head as well as avoiding carbonated drinks and monitoring sugar intake helps.
Homemade lemon juice+honey+pinch of salt adding in a glass of water makes a delicious drink Homeopathic medicine works great I think its calcariaphos, if child cries with irritation or cranky.

I am so sorry.
by: Anonymous

Hi,
I totally can relate to the lack of understanding by outsiders it is hard enough for us as parents to understand let alone others. Our son Brent is Autistic, epileptic, intellectually challenged, ODD, anxiety etc and when we go out in public it can be a huge battle. The meltdowns are hard enough without people judging and pointing which only makes Brent worse. Brent is 11 and when we go to the shops he still goes in a trolley and takes a blanket that he can hide under which really helps, but the best thing I ever did to help myself and others to understand was by buying my Autism Awareness shirts (Brent even has some now).

Whenever we go out one of us wear one so if there is a problem people will look see my shirt and look away.



There is a website called cafepress and they have a massive range of tops etc.
That plus more available here

The other thing we do is be very open with people it helps them to understand and support us by not judging. Our oldest son plays a lot of sport and te first thing we do with new people is apologise if he offends anyone and explain about him and it really does work.

Good luck this is an incredibly hard road to take without other people's judgements.
Good luck
Cindy.

I understand completely
by: Anonymous

We are adopting a precious little guy (age 2) that has a traumatic brain injury. His behavior can get out if control. Lately he seems to be "ramping" up. I am so sick and tired of people telling me he's a normal 2 yr old boy. This is not my 1st go around as a parent, I know he's struggling with some major behavioral issues. I'm learning I need to get a new support system. My biggest frustration is the so called professional I have to deal with because he's technically a foster child still until the adoption is finalized. They tell me things like "no hitting, we do HUGS" which is such a joke when you have a child that doesn't understand things. I agree with you about being honest with the people at church, I want my son to be successful, so I want the caregivers to know exactly what may happen if he starts to lose it. I am so thankful I found this website, it helps to know others are feeling the same way.

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