Boyfriend with disability

by Anonymous
(NJ)

I have recently started having a relationship with someone that has a disability. He was actually my ex from 8 years ago.

I don't think there is a name for what he has but he was adopted from Columbia and they think that his mother was on drugs while he was in the womb, because of this his lower legs are without proper muscle tissue and his toes are gnarled. He has a pretty bad limp and is much shorter than me.

I remember struggling a little with his appearance 8 years ago but getting over it because I was so in love with him.

Since we started our relationship again we have been seeing each other for over 2 months now and I am having a really hard time with it more than ever. When I see a reflection of us in the mirror it makes me very uncomfortable because of how strange it looks.

He is very much in love with me and wants to ask me to marry him. I am trying very hard to cope with this and "force" myself to accept this.

It sounds incredibly selfish but I have always seen myself marrying someone taller than me and without a disability. I do care for him but I really feel like this is affecting my perception and feelings for him. I don't know what to do! Please help!!